just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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