I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
