I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
