I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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