hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Boobs speak an international language.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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