So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I wish i was in the wii world.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
