Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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