I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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