Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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