and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
