Can i not drive my cunt home
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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