WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Green mimosas i think yes
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
