I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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