Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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