Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
