I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
