I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
