Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
