When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
