Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
