I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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