she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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