Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize