My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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