if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
