Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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