Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
