Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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