Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
