I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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