i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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