Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
