I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
