i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
