omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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