I love black thongs
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
