? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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