If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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