im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
