I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
