I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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