i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
