Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
