We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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