So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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