so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
