how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
