My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
