4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
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