idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
