so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
